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Plain old Action Flicks

Some movies don't fall into the other categories. Most of Jackie Chan's movies are like that. Not a lot of guns, but not a kick flick and no ghosts... Stephen Chow Sing-chi comedies fall here as well. These are the movies most like mainstream American films.

And in no particular order right now...

Run Don't walk: Ti Lung
This is a comedy about a bank robber who wants to reform but things just keep getting in his way. Ti Lung is the ex-con who helps a desperate man and his little girl and by doing so redeems himself with the Law and his long suffering girlfriend.

The highlights are: Ti Lung in the tub. His thighs are works of art. He is wonderfully charming and roguish. The little girl raises the cute factor in a different way.

Armor of God: Jackie Chan, Alan Tam
Jackie as the Asian Hawk in a tribute to Indiana Jones. He goes on a treasure hunt to resuce the girlfriend of his buddy. Mayhem ensues.

The highlights are: He should cut his hair short again. Fab U Lous! The gum chewing routine is very cute. Alan Tam is rather nice too as the useless armpiece.

Armor of God 2/ Operation Condor: Jackie Chan
The Asian Hawk is back and he's searching for buried Nazi gold.

The highlights are: The shaggy beatle cut is most becoming. I like the dancing scene in the desert stronghold."Had enough? Hahahahahah...No..."slurp.

Dragons Forever:Jackie Chan, Yuen Biao, Sammo Hung Kam bo
A Lawyer and his two shady friends investigate the plantiff of a fishery vs chemical company lawsuit. The lawyer and his friend fall in love with the plantiff and her cousin and the nutty friend just goes goofy. Mayhem ensues when they find the chemical company is not making the chemicals it claims...

The highlights are: These three are adorable together. Not enough time was spent with the three interacting but I think Sammo steals this one with his efforts to capture the heiress. Jackie strips down for his fight with Benny at the end. Yuen Biao is working those blue jeans.

Twin Dragons: Jackie Chan
Jackie plays twins separated at birth. One grows up to be a concert pianist and one grows up to be a petty hood, al be it one with a heart of gold. When the pianist comes to town for a concert, a mad spoof of the Comedy of Errors just starts right up.

The highlights are: Two Jackies for the price of one. He is luscious in the little white work overalls, the glorious tux and there are two naked Jackies in the hot tub. And best of all, a bedroom scene...Jackie can crack my back anytime.

City Hunter: Jackie Chan, Ken Lo, Leon Lai ming
Jackie is private detective Ryu Saeba hot on the trail of a runaway Japanese newspaper heiress. She hides on a luxury liner which is the target of international thieves. Leon is the God of Gamblers who falls for the tough chick that is trying to capture the robbers. Eventually they all meet up and get the bad guys.

The highlights are: Jackie looks fab in his white suit. I have always wondered why he wears everything three sizes too large. Fortunately he sheds the jacket and runs around in a little muscle top. Very lovely. Leon is too cute as the pseudo God of Gambler type with the over the top outfits. Watch Ken Lo close the door with his foot. Wow!

High Risk: Jet Li, Jacky Cheung
A ruthless parody. Most of it is lost if you are not an HK fan, but it is still very funny. It spoofs Die Hard and countless other nameless American films as well. Maybe don't start with this film.

The highlights are: Jet Li has some of his cutest expressions here. Again he is overly serious but still cute. Jacky Cheung uses his annoyingness to good effect here.

Twinkle Twinkle Lucky Stars: Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung Kam bo, Yuen Biao, Andy Lau Tak wah
Muscles and Ricky are looking for a thief. So are three hitmen. They get him first. The boys then go after the hitmen. So much for the vacation in Thailand. Lots of wet girl jokes and pitiful begging, though.

The highlights are: Jackie, Yuen Biao and Andy in little tank tops and black stretch pants...Yasuagi Kurata in the blue striped top.

Pom Pom and Hot Hot: Lam Ching Ying, Jacky Cheung
A cop, buddy movie like Lethal Weapon. Don't ask.

The highlights are: Rather like a movie of men behaving badly. Jacky is not overly obnoxious. Lam steals the last half of the movie.

Thunderbolt: Jackie Chan
It has something to do with Jackie as a mechanic who also races and pisses of this evil guy who then trys to wreck his life and property. To be honest, I didn't pay attention, I just watched Jackie.

The highlights are: Jackie fighting in his Pjs.

Rumble in the Bronx: Jackie Chan
Jackie comes to America to visit his uncle. He stays for a bit to help the woman who buys his uncle's store but falls for the hood girlfriend of the guy who wrecks the place. He teaches the hoods responsibility while defeating diamond thieves.

The highlights are: Jackie is dressed very well in this. My vote goes to the sleeveless black turtleneck and tight jeans...However, the best parts are the handstand in blue underwear and Jackie naked on the couch with the towel...yum yum

First Strike: Jackie Chan
Jackie is a James Bond sort who follows a smuggler to Russia, then to Australia, then falls for the sister of the guy he's following and then he redeems the bad guy and then the bad guy's partners try to get revenge. They don't.

The highlights are: Jackie mugging. He is wet in a suit, wears tiny koala head underpants and best of all shines a beautiful moon (check those minimal tan lines).

Project A: Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung Kam bo, Yuen Biao
A turn of the century pirate story. The Coast guard faces extinction but is taken over by the police department. Jackie and Yuen Biao join to find the pirates. Sammo joins up with them and they all go to the pirate island. There's a big fight with the head pirate and the good guys win.

The highlights are: Worth it for the bathing scene. A line up of lovelies wearing only soap suds...Jackie in knickers is pretty funny too.

The Protector: Jackie Chan
Jackie and Danny Aiello are NY Cops who follow a kidnapping case to Hong Kong. They find drug smugglers and corrupt police on top of kidnappers. They go in guns and fists a blazing and clean up the mess.

The highlights are: Not as hideous as everyone says. Jackie is darling with his accent and big hair. My bet is on the massage parlor scene with him in his underwear...

Fight Back to School: Stephen Chow Sing-chi
Stephen is a detective who goes undercover as a student to get the Chief's pistol back.

The highlights are: Stephen is almost convincing as jailbait. The rest of the students are really cute too. But then I just happen to like school uniforms...

Black Mask: Jet Li
The futuristic tale of a super fighter who is hiding from his team mates and destruction. Things go wrong when all the drug dealers start to die...

The highlights are: Jet Li is adorable a a nerd. He also looks mighty cute in that black outfit.

Chinatown Kid: Fu Sheng, Kuo Chue
Fu Sheng comes to America and looks for a better life. Unfortunately he hooks up with a gang instead. Warfare breaks out between the gangs and you can guess after that.

The highlights are: Everyone in hideous 70's polyester. Real hideous. I don't know how Fu Sheng could breathe in those pants. Dick Wei is very flexible. Kuo Chue is cute even with the bad hair.

Mr. Shatter: Ti Lung, Peter Cushing, Stuart Whitman
A spy story.

The highlights are: A very Young Ti Lung, again in skintight Levis. Too cute to stand. He speaks excellent english with a really cute accent. He teaches class with no shirt and boy does he look good in a leather jacket...

Fight Back to School 3: Stephen Chow Sing-chi, Anthony Wong Chow san
Stephen is again undercover as a millionaire killed a la Basic Instinct. His girl doesn't want him to go and the wife knows he's a fake...

The highlights are: He has some yummy clothes in this one. I'd sure like him to be _my_ Ken doll. The school kids acting scene was a howl and Beardie and Anthony Wong added some extra cutes to it.

God of Cookery: Stephen Chow Sing-chi
Stephen spoofs the God of Gamblers series. It looks more to me like a thinly veiled "day in the life of Chow Sing Chi" to me... He plays an arrogant top chef who gets cut down to size but learns the true "way" of cooking.

The highlights are: The Shaolin cooking school was an absolute riot. He looks darling in the shorts... The final showdown scene was over the top. Hey even a goddess chose his food...

From Beijing with Love: Stephen Chow Sing-chi
Stephen is spoofing James Bond.

The highlights are: The Butcher Wing Knife...but only if you know who Butcher Wing is. The videophone in the toilet, the trashing of the Mainlander hoods, getting the bullet out of his leg and the reeeealy bad suits.

ist Of Fury 1991 II : Stephen Chow Sing-chi, Kenny B
Stephen is spoofing Bruce Lee... sort of.

The highlights are: Kenny B's tummy baring outfit. Stephen buck nekkid in a shower (no you don't see enough!!!). Stephen in a Towel in the locker room. Stephen trying to escape from the country house.

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